is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
smell my finger.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
