that's an acceptable place to lick
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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