Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
