It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
