New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
