3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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