It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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