I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
This is my gift to your gina
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
