If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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