Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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