No awkward lesbian experiences without me
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
