And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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