I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Damn victory sex feels great
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
