I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
