I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
