We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
