I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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