What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
