Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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