yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
