you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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