How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
