She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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