I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
