...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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