we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
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