I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
