No awkward lesbian experiences without me
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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