I got her a Nickelback box set.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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