does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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