Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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