Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
