under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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