the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
