when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
