hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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