I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
