"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
