And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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