There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
