Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
What a dumb baby whore.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
