yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
