he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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