I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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