Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
