I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
