I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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