she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
worst night to have a conscience
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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