I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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