I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
